This is such a mission. I kinda wish it was summer and I could just get out and walk the road, y'know..? On top of my current day job (which I'm thankful for), there's a lot of work to do. And thankfully I can hit the road in a few days time. Four days to be more precise...
Shall we talk about what Special Forces soldiers are expected to do sometimes or would you like a bit more of an FYI regarding the background to the impending perambulatory torture..? OK, since I ain't no soldier we'll do a bit of the latter :0)
WHY am I walking from Dalkieth to Stevenage, especially at this time of year and with the current weather conditions..? Well. Purely and Simply, my personal reason is that I missed last years Hogmanay Knees Up and wouldn't want to miss this year's one for the world. I missed the 2009/10 rave because I made an excuse and didn't show up. I could have but I didn't. I damned well should have. But I didn't. And over the course of the last year a lot of things have become clearer in my mind after years and years of confusion, depression, mild schizophrenia and pissing my friends and family right off. So this year, I'll spend Christmas with my family, who I love, and Hogmanay with my friends, who I also love. That being the case, I'm a very fortunate individual and there are lots of people who won't be able to do either because they're in the boat I've hopefully left for a while... So I'm going to a party. Which is nice :0)
WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS INSANE THING??? Well... haven't you just answered the question..? I'm obviously a bit mad, that being the case I'm in an ideal situation to take advantage of the fact and express myself in an appropriate manner. Look - my mates have called me Mad Andy for years, all different groups in many different places - because I push the envelope and sometimes just step outside - not in a horrible, offensive or dangerous to others way, I'm maybe just a bit more focused and committed to the cause so to speak. And the cause in this instance is Time to Change - because it represents me and people like me and someone has to take a stand against what is essentially the fear and paranoia that the 'general public' has towards people who have been labelled Mentally Ill.
It's like we're untouchable, low, heathen monsters who cannot be trusted to behave like civilised human beings - you see us on the news throwing people in front of trains and murdering prostitutes... I'll probably touch on that 'Civilised Human Beings'... point again. The fact is that you probably wouldn't know that Richard who lives with his girlfriend at no.58 is Bi-Polar. Or Janey the girl you really fancy that works part time in the newsagents fights her agoraphobia every day just to get into work... And when you do find out you either don't know what the hell it is (never mind being able to spell it), or you've been so misinformed about the condition that your response is totally out of context. Honest, that's what happens. Seen it with my own eyes... For example, I can go out on a date with someone, and everything's great, really, and then when I do open up and explain my condition and experiences, the lie of the land shifts rapidly, from beneath me... Or when I apply for a job, go to an interview and the question pops up I tell the truth. Not bluntly or theatrically, not like - 'I'm mad... look at my Honey Badger!'... but I explain that I've suffered from depression and anxiety for long enough to understand how my noggin ticks and how to manage and mitigate when it decides it's had enough. Furthermore, I can use my condition in a motivational way to improve the quality and quantity of my work. Simple. And no doubt better than having an unexpected breakdown in the middle of a big project...
As far as I'm concerned this discrimination just has to stop. All discrimination would be nice but for the moment I'll concentrate on this one.
So... Again... WHY am I doing this..? Living proof that a man with a broken head can not only present, plan and carry out this unabashedly audacious, arduous and possibly life threatening feat, but to prove that so called 'damaged goods', have value you can't see or necessarily quantify. And in my opinion, it's the little tings that make me, us, different - that makes us special and allows us to enlighten the world with our artistry and industry with no equal.
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